A Scandinavian starts to open up

A new attempt at friend networking

2009-03-07T06:06:55Z

I know that there are several of you out there who know several more people, and they know people, and so on and so forth, until we all know each other. I’m looking for a few things, and thought, where better to start than a place that can publicly be linked, and spread to get a word out. Who know’s, I may read your blog/LJ/whatever already, and may have done the same thing for you at one time, or be able to do it in the future. So… here goes!

I’m looking for a few things. While they are related, I don’t want the both of them together by the same individual, or at the same time.

1. I want a Memorial tattoo for my mother. I’ve thought about this for a few years, and talked it over with several people I care about, and feel that I’ve thought all of it through well. Especially given that it is a memorial. To get this accomplished, I would like the permission of the original artist, and if possible, the help. The help would be more in the lines of getting the line work in a more simplified form. I don’t know why I feel I need this from her, but would at least like to try. The artist’s name is Lynn Bywater, and the print I want made into a tattoo is the Santa and Polar Bears below:

I’m looking to get this done on my chest. Not necessarily huge, but I’m sure it will be big to get the detail I would like. I gave her a print of this bordered in red with holly embossed on the border card. Mom loved it, as did I. She left it up year round, and it is still up in her house. My step dad can’t bring himself to take it down yet. I want to get this to commemorate her life, and it’s power on me.

2. Next, I want to find a traditional tattoo artist. I don’t mean early americana traditional. I mean primitive, Polynesian, Hawaiian, style tattoo artist. Using a bone or other sharp primitive tool to give the permanent tattoo. Thing is, I want it to be someone extremely familiar with the northern european primitive tattoo’s. Stuff that the Teuton’s and Scandinavians had. I would like it to be a more traditional pattern or design, and if that isn’t very “pretty”, I would like a nordic swirl pattern done in this primitive traditional sense, and start my own cult! :) OK, maybe not my own cult, but another take on the Neo tradional tattoo styles.

I feel that both of these are things that I need to complete in the next few years of my life. I’ve been thinking about them for a while, and would like to get past the thinking and the start of doing.

3. Lastly, I need to find an engineer that knows a few things about land surveying, epa regulations, fluid dynamics, and green electricity. I have two projects that I can see happening in the next couple years, but as far as I can see, I need some high levels of professional help to get them accomplished. I want to utilize the previous gravity fed water system for the house to be used to generate electricity via a small scale turbine. I want to see if it is feasible, and possible. The other thing I want to do is figure out if I can get a power hammer installed in my shop. The thing that I’m worried about is the artesian well that I have. I want to make sure that I’m not going to create a sink hole where the house is, or that I am not going to run the risk of collapsing the well.

Money will have to come into play at some point, and maybe I just take it in several steps, but at this point, the thing I need to do is get these next steps started and moving. Can anyone help out a bit? If you need permission for my contact info, just shoot me a message and let me know.

Nerd Test

2009-01-28T22:19:27Z

Nifty Gifty meme

2009-01-23T18:38:51Z

Nifty fun idea I snagged from seanies

The first ten (10) people, aka the first 10 of my friends to respond to this post will get something made by me. It will be about or tailored to those ten lucky "victims."

This offer does have some restrictions and limitations:
- I make no guarantees that you will like what I make!
- What I create will be just for you.
- It'll be done this year
- You have no clue what it's going to be. It may be a graphic. It may be poetry. I may draw or paint something. I may bake you something and mail it to you. I may write you a letter. I may make you a set of icons. I may make you a piece of jewelry. I may take pictures and send them to you. Who knows? Not you, that's for sure!
- I reserve the right to do something extremely strange.

The catch? Oh, the catch is that you have to put this in your journal as well, if you expect me to do something for you!

Any takers? :-)

My Peeps:

1.seanies
2.princessgeek
3. Jennifer
4. gabri
5.staxxy
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

WTF??!! Really....

2008-11-19T19:58:30Z

For many of us (My friends and I), 2008 has been an extremely trying year for several reasons. Mostly, it has been the amount of death's of those we know individually, or combined, and some of them have been known very well. Some have been expected, but mostly, the feeling I've gotten from most people has been that of dismay, and unexpected partings. After a few weeks of not having one of these weeks, I am struck today with the news of another loss, that is hitting me harder than I expected. While I didn't know the man, his reputation preceded him. While I didn't know him well, I had hoped to in the future, or at least know him better. After the words that he spoke at Crown, during his brother's service, and a conversation he and I had, I expected that I would get a chance at some point in the near future to do so.

I really would like this to stop for my friends for a while. While I do not wish this pain on any other group of friends, I sure as hell do not wish it upon my friends either.

What the hell, thought I would try.

2008-11-12T21:24:11Z

If you saw me in the back of a police car, what would you think I was there for?

Answer me, then post this in your own journal (or don't) to see how many different crimes you get accused of committing.

For Parents, for Teachers, for the purposes of getting this off my chest.

2008-10-29T05:02:23Z

In light of recent postings from a few friends, I actually decided to get this out to a wider audience for more consumption, as well as small amount of self therapy.

This is to a few people, and while some people would only read their portion of what applies to them, it is important that you see all sides of an issue. I've tried to do so here, if you decide to comment, please let me know where I've gone wrong.

Dear High School Principal;
When you decide to have Parent/Teacher conferences in a round robin style forum, please take a few things into consideration.

Please instruct your employees to sit where they have been placed on the map that you are giving to the parents as they arrive. When the teacher is not in that location, and parents and other staff have not been notified, it is possible that the teacher appears to be absent.
Please also instruct your employee's, not only to pay attention to the parent's that they are sitting with, but the other parents waiting in line to see them. As you must have considered when you decided to perform the conferences in a round robin, and disallowed anyone to make a specific appointment time, there could be times when you have provided for the teachers and parents to meet that may be more crowded than others.
Please instruct your employee's to not take questions, or interact with students should the parents decide to bring them.
Please instruct the parents not to bring their children to parent teacher conferences.
Ensure that there is a way for teachers, parents, and students to get together and discuss further issues at a later time and date, when it might be more appropriate.

Thank you,

Dear High School Teacher;
When you perform Parent/Teacher conferences in a round robin style forum, please take a few things into consideration.

Please do not accept questions, guff, or even for a student to be present at the conference you are about to have with their parents.
Please refrain from arguing with a student about their current grade in whatever the subject is. The pupil should have plenty of time to receive this information from you, as you have already been required to put their grades online, and provide them opportunities to understand what the work is, Parent/Teacher conferences performed in the round robin are meant to be a time for the adults to talk, and if allowed to be present, the children should only listen.
Please, if you succumb to the questions or attitude of a specific pupil, make every attempt to work out another time and place for you to meet with them and their parents where things could be better discussed, and without taking the time of the other parents waiting for their chance within a 2 and a half hour window to see you.
No parent who is next in line, should have to wait longer than appropriate for their turn to see you. I would argue that 40 minutes for one subject such as math, would be too long for the next person to wait. Again, if there must be a deep discussion, arrange another time appropriate for the discussion that is in the near future, give them the information that they need and move them on to the next teacher.

Thank you,

Dear High School Parent;
When you decide to attend Parent/Teacher conferences that are being held in a round robin style forum, please consider the following.

Do not take your child to Parent/Teacher conferences. This is not Parent/Teacher/Student conferences, it is simply Parent/Teacher conferences.
If you must bring your child because of trust issues, or lack of a sitter, etc, instruct them to sit quietly if they cannot be out of the way.
Be considerate of the other parents who are also there about their little Timmy, Tommy, Julie, or Samantha. They have also made concessions to attend, and their child is just as important as yours.
If it is your childs senior year, and in the first quarter, your little sweetie nookums is having so much problems in the remedial math class that they are in that they are in jeopardy of graduating, you should probably have become more involved in their education early in the process. You need to realize that you are not only teaching your child bad habits, but that you don't care enough to help until it might be too late. There needs to be consequences for their actions, just as there will be consequences for your inaction early enough in their development.
Remember that you are a parent, not a child. You are the one in charge, and you should not be allowing your child to boss you around like you are 5. It not only belittles you as a parent, but it makes your kid assume that none of their friends parents are worth respecting. If you do not do this last part, and your little precious comes over to my house for some form of a play date, and they show me that level of disrespect, I may not be able to control myself from teaching them what respect is, and the level that I feel I deserve from them.
Don't act shocked when another parent asks you politely to consider them and their time when raising your child to become a good citizen. (Not in those words, much nicer, but still).

Thank you,

Post Surgery update

2008-09-27T19:41:18Z

Surgery went pretty well from what I can currently tell. I meet with the Dr. again on Tuesday this week to get his assesment of it, but from what he sent me home with, it is pretty evident that I needed it.

He sent me home with a video, that he made before performing the surgery. Basically verifying the results of the MRI that was done. The sound is quite low, but he does narrate it. Lets see if this works.

The big things are when he points out where the biceps tendon is, and where it is supposed to be. And the ripped rotator cuff muscle, that is pretty well ripped off.

So for now, on to recovery. The drugs have been good, but I don't like what they do to me. I'm pretty blahzay about stuff around me. Even though several things need to get done around the house (Laundry, cleaning, etc...), I don't have the energy or capability of doing much right now. Physical therepy starts later this week though, and maybe that will start to change things.

Updating finally!!!

2008-08-29T20:33:33Z

What a few months it has been! Truly a roller coaster.

I haven't taken the time to update this space in some time. Mostly because I've been dealing with a lot of life's little things, partly because I haven't felt the need to share outside of a very small and select group of friends some of the things that have been going on, some has also been because I haven't been able to put to words some of the things I've gone through in the past several months.

So... Here we go for a brief synopsis.

Lawst and I are pretty well out to square one. I care for her a great deal, as does she for me, but right now, we are not together. Several of you have asked about things, just know that I'm sharing what I feel is appropriate and accurate with each of you. I hope she finds herself, and her inner power. I want her to get herself both physically, and mentally healthy. IF she can do that, and find it in herself to come back to WA, we may work on things. IF I change my mind, I may go somewhere that she feels is more weather appropriate for her, and work on things. There is still however so much up in the air, that suffice to say, we are both happy for our space.

FRIENDS:
I've lost two friends over the summer. One of them extremely close, or at least for a long time I felt close to them. The other, I owe the starting of my career to. Both will be missed, and I'm still dealing with parts of both of their losses. I'm learning to never let anything stay hanging in this. This weekend, I'll be with those that were close to my former master, and wishing each other to heal in his loss.

Other stuff:
The kids have had a lot of fun over the last month, getting to be with Mom, and explore things in Louisianna. They were set to come back last night, but were delayed due to preliminary evacuation traffic in the leading edge of GUSTOV. They will be returning on Saturday, and a great friend has agreed to pick them up, and take them to crown, so I can attend Mish's wake.
I bought a scooter just over a month ago, to save on gas, and finally learn what it is to drive a motorbike on regular commuting. Those of you that have known me for sometime can remember when I looked like a Motorcycle rider, now, I actually hope to become one in a few years. :) I'm having fun with it, but it has also caused a bit of pain. See, on the first day that I drove it to work, when I parked it, I used the kickstand for the first time. At home, I had been using the Jackstand. Well, the bike stands almost straight up on the kickstand, and started to tip when I got off of it, so I reached out to grab it from tipping over by grabbing the handlebars with my left hand. The bike didn't tip, but I felt a "POP" in my shoulder. Well after a week of dealing with the pain, the Chiro I go to ordered an MRI. Wouldn't you know it, 3 ripped ligaments, 1 ripped muscle, and a dislocated biceps tendon. Surgery is scheduled for the 24th of next month, and recovery over the next 4 to 6 months. YAY!!!

The house is coming along, although much slower with an injured shoulder. I can't wait for the kids to get back, I've really missed them over the last month. Works busy, but going OK. In general, things are good.

That's about it for now. I'll see if I can't take the time next week to update more after the event. TTFN

Touch games

2008-03-20T18:00:35Z

Snipped from airlinepilot

I not only want this game, I want to get it into our distribution channel.

I thought my boy was a Star Wars fan, but this is too cute

2008-03-05T18:49:45Z

My boy is a dyed in the wool Star Wars fan. He's 5, and yet, can tell you just about anything that you would listen to about the movies, or Lego Star WarsII or Lego Star Wars the Complete Saga (the Xbox 360 Versions). However, that was until I heard this on the radio and went out to find it. Just too cute not to share.

Norse God Quiz.

2008-02-25T18:08:30Z

I usually don't look at myself in a good light, which has always been a problem. I also don't usually take these quizes, cause there is too much predetermination that goes on. I couldn't help but share these results though, cause I don't feel they are as accurate, but I still felt shock and surprise when I finished it. :)

Which Norse God or Goddess are you most like?
created with QuizFarm.com

You scored as Odin

Odin

80%

Sif

60%

Freya

60%

Njord

60%

Tyr

60%

Freyr

50%

Bragi

50%

Thor

50%

Loki

40%

Frigg

40%

Skadi

40%

Balder

30%

Heimdall

30%

Hel

30%

I hate some kids parents

2008-02-22T18:10:07Z

I heard a news story this morning on my favorite radio show about a kid getting suspended from school for the remainder of the school year (80 days). I was a little shocked considering the duration of the suspension, and turned up the station a little to hear what this was really about, and to find out why the suspension occurred. Turns out, a 13 y.o. boy made a false web site about his principal at the school. It was a parody to an extent, but was more based around defamation of character, and slander in my opinion. I think the boy got what he deserved, OK, I can turn it down.

But wait, the reason that this is being told on the station, the reason that it is news, is that the parents have decided to sue the school district for violating their son's freedom of speech.

OK, this I gotta here. *turns radio back up*

The parents claim that because the website was made off of school time, and on the family's personal computer, that it doesn't have anything to do with school time, and that the school district does not have the right to punish their son for his actions that take place outside of school. Especially when the punishment violates the son's freedom of speech.

Now wait a minute, the parents are defending the child's actions. OK, lets dig a little deeper. What did the boy say in this parody MySpace page? What did he do that made the school board suspend or even think about expelling him?

So, I listen a bit longer, then when I get to work, I dig a bit deeper into the story. I'm a parent, I've defended my child and her rights to the school before. I stood up for what I felt was right and just, and was able to do so without a lawyer. I've also punished my child and taken the side of the school as well. All of this has been during this year. The child that I've had to do this for is 13.

As it turns out, while the student did not use the principals name, he used the principal's picture, and stated the school where the principal worked. Then went on to describe that his likes, dislikes, hero's etc, and all of the items, were lewd, slanderous, and potentially damaging to the principals character if anyone were to take them seriously.

As I'm reading what I'm writing, it doesn't seem all that clear to me either. There are pictures of the web site, and scans of the court filing by the parents available for viewing on The Smoking Gun's web site.

Looking for input on some things

2008-02-20T19:08:26Z

I could use a good desktop client for blogging. I'm finding it quite usefull recently to get some of these thoughts out, and I've got several places that I can, and do, blog from time to time. The biggest problem I've had though is doing it simply.

What I need in a client:
Vista compatible (both 32 and 64 bit OSes)
Will interface with LJ, Windows Live, and other blogging sites.
Can save local docs for future posts
Spell check.
Updating blog entries

Does anyone have any input?

New company, same stuff.....

2008-02-20T18:24:36Z

So GDC is this week, and as always, the company I work for is there making a few presentations and talking about some new technologies we are working on. This is even more of a new step given that I work for a new company since the last GDC. Anyway, I've been thrilled to have the position I have (most of the time) and the true comrodery that goes on in this company. Thoughts and ideas are shared, discussed, and when good, taken under serious consideration before being either implemented, or back-burnered.

Now, everyone has said that our president and founder is a little off the wall, and a little off his rocker at times. I've yet to have truly seen it in the "public" eye as I've been told happens occasionally. Until today.

I work for WildTangent as the "Product Test Manager", meaning loosely, I'm responsible for testing the products that we release. The below article talks about emerging technology and advances in the distribution and standardization practices as it relates to PC games. This article is the first I've heard of this, which is frustrating.

S.F. conference spotlights PC gaming

http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/02/20/BU9HV52QQ.DTL

Well, I guess I need to go talk to someone about what I need to do to prepare for this right now. Next week I suspect that we'll see more (within the company) about it.

============EDIT - UPDATE BELOW - EDIT===================================

Ok, so as it turns out, it might not be as bad as I originally thought. Some of this, has been getting done already and I knew about. However, some of it hasn't. The naming of it had thrown me quite off, don't really know why either. Mostly, nobody here had ever mentioned the name before.

Ah well, kinda typical for this industry I've found. Usually, QA is the last to know what is going "out the door" on new product or tech.

Who'd have thought having insects in the house would be so interesting?

2008-02-13T15:07:13Z

For Xmas, the boy child received an Ant Farm. Not the same style of Ant Farm I grew up with, no sir e. This one uses gel for the ants building medium and has led's that shine into it from the bottom of the farm. He's been anxiously awaiting the order of the ants, which I put off because of trips, and busy ness. Well 2 weeks ago I ordered the ants, and they arrived last Saturday. Upon setting it up, and placing the ants in the facility, he stood there watching them for about an hour.

Within the first 36 hours, they had dug 2 tunnels that joined near the bottom and a small room at the bottom of the facility. within the next 12 hours they dug across the bottom, and it took them another 24 hours to decide to dig up from that side until they exited out the top.

Kinda weird too, the gel doesn't move like sand. They use their mandables to cut it up to smallish pieces just larger than a sand grain, and then carry it to the top. The other thing they do is eat the gel, it is the only food source in the farm, so the user doesn't have to dirty the area by attempting to feed them.

Now, JT has been exstatic about the progress and looking at them. The girl child and I have been as well, unexpectedly. She has to call me when she gets home from school, and she's been giving me updates every day. I look at them at least twice a day to see how they are holding up, and what new structure they may have improved or built. IT'S FREAKIN AMAZING!!! We are all truly enjoying it. Below is an actual picture of ours.

Just had to share.
:)

On the road again

2008-02-08T23:35:29Z

Once again, I've changed counselors and practice. This time I'm using a psychology backed group, one with the capability of ordering prescriptions if it is felt as necessary.

Monday was awful - Went to the VA and pretty well was in tears. Having a breakdown mode. Really sucked, but got to talk to a few people. They gave me something to help me get to sleep. It felt good to get some sleep for once, I actually got 7 hours on a weeknight. I had been getting about 4 or so hours of sleep.

Tuesday was a tiny bit better - But only slightly. I actually got some sleep the night before, and the meds that they gave me for sleep they stated also had a bit of something to help with a small amount of the anxiety. I got to see two different Psychologists, and they gave me a script for Fluoxetine (prozac as it is more commonly known). They also set up "urgent notifications" for my to be assigned Psych MD and Counselor to get a hold of me.

Wednesday - Meh, not entirely better, but not feeling hopeless anymore either.

Thursday and Friday - Better then Meh, but not great yet.

-----------------------------------

I'm being hopefull that this will help. I can see things a bit clearer for right now, some things anyway. I can feel a bit better, and hope to sooner rather than later.

lawst and I are extremely tenuous, but moving along. She's having an extremely rough week, and we're not talking about us. I'm giving her the time to have a rough week, and she has way too much to focus on, instead of me stressing her out too.

I really do hope we can get through this. I really want to be better too. Maybe the two can't meet, and maybe they can. Right now, it is one day at a time for me. I think it is the same for her. Let's just see what next week brings, and we'll go from there.

I'm scared and can't seem to control my thoughts

2008-02-02T17:48:37Z

I've killed something I had for a long time. I've been breaking it for a long time, and I think it finally got broke beyond any point I can repair. I didn't mean to do it, I have never meant it. It was, and will always be something I treasure, and I don't know how to treat it right now. I don't know that I ever will get the chance to do so again. I hope it can be fixed, and I'm going to try and do everything in my power to salvage what i can of it. But right now, it is shattered, and I can't seem to find all the pieces and things I need to put it all back together.

What the hell am I doing?

2008-01-31T19:49:46Z

I feel like I'm floundering. You know, flopping around like a fish out of water.

I can't seem to get a good assemblance of what is going on.

- The boy is having some problems. We are working through them, and it is a good thing that he is a sweet one, otherwise, he'd be dead. He's a good kid, but the pushy attitude needs to go away soon. We are working on it (he and I together), but reasoning with a 5 year old in a mature fashion is tough.

- The girl and I are getting along swimingly. Things are actually going in a direction that we both appreciate. She's really stepped into the big sister role far better than she had been. She is also no longer trying to mother the boy. FINALLY MADE SOME PROGRESS.

- Every night by the time I get home, I have to hit the ground running. Dinner needs to get prepared, school work gone through and signed if necessary, clothes laid out for the morning, laundry done (when needed), eat previously said dinner, read a book, bathe the boy, read a story, and get the boy to bed.
THAT IS THE FIRST HOUR AND A HALF AFTER GETTING HOME
Then, get the girl child in order (what little effort that may take), get the rest of my things in order for the next day, and try and muster what little energy I have to get some work done around the house over and above the daily tasks. This of course doesn't cover the unexpected friend calling, or loss of energy, or frustration that occurs and could get in the way.

-

lawst is stressed just by thinking about talking through issues with me. While it is hard, I've been letting go of trying to work on that with her. This seems to have helped, but it also feels as if it has hurt a bit. I don't know what the future for our relationship holds, and am done trying to see it. At this point, it feels as if things are one day at a time, with little planning for the future. Things are difficult, and I can see parts of her that want to make this work. So in some ways it has been helpful to me to "let go" a bit.

Things are tough, but going. I've felt like "Little EMO boy" for a few days. The conversations that I've had with friends (both mutual and mine) have helped some, and other parts have also been contradicting what I've been denying I feel. It helps to get these things out once in a while, so IDK, maybe I am just that little EMO boy right now.

TTFN, I gotta get back to work!

Thoughts and ketchup(catsup)

2008-01-27T21:12:42Z

Just thinking about things, and catching back up on posts. No I haven't dropped off the face of the earth, but I haven't been too social either.

After the holiday break, the kids and I spent some time getting ready for our trip to BR. Hectic week and a half before going, but we had a really good time while we were there. C and I visited the Highschool in the area that we've talked about moving. It was an experience that she hadn't been looking forward to, but came away from it a bit happier than she thought she would. We also looked around at homes in the area, and dreamed a bit about what we might be able to find when the time comes.

Both the kids and I had a few days during the trip when

lawst
had to work. For the most part, we tried to spend them exploring something new (to us) about the area. We looked at houses, museums, parks, and all sorts of other areas. We had a good bit of fun exporing too.

We also took a few days down to N.O., and had some more fun. This time all 4 of us. Looked around, tried to absorb it all, and failed, yet still a very enjoyable time. After taking the kids back to BR to be watched for a night, lawst and I had a chance to actually work through some things. Some of it we worked through well, some not so great. I know now that there are some things that need more work than what I thought, and somethings just need some time too. Neither one of us has truly quit this either, some of this has been to just get perspective too.

---------------------------------
The other thoughts, now that the catsup is done.
---------------------------------
One thing that I truly realized this week is I don't want to live in the city. I don't know that I ever want to again. I might not mind the quiet suburbs, but I don't think i ever want to be around that much noise and light, full time, every day, if I can ever help it.

With the clear weather this week, things were quite cold. Everything is colder in the country too. Nights were extremely crisp and clear. One of the things I've been trying to do everynight, especially on the few clear ones that we get, is go out, look to Orion(Thor in my mythos) and go through an evening ritual. When its been cloudy, I look up its location online for the time of night, and I had to this week when the skies were clear too. Not because it wasn't in view, but because there were so many other stars with it, it was hard to discern the traditionally seen constalation. It was extremely clear, and I don't want to really give that up.

The other thing that happened this week, at the time it did pissed me off. However, since then, I've come to like the thought of saying it. The moon woke me up. Yes, i said that the moon woke me up. As my bedroom faces west, I don't see the moonlight from that window when I go to bed. It is usually uterly black outside my window at night. I leave the shades drawn in the winter for warmth, but being as they are homemade, they don't always close as tightly as traditional window curtains. The other night was one of those nights. So at 4 o'clock in the morning, the moon shown through the slit in my curtains, and right into my eyes. It woke me out of a dead sleep, and was so bright, I thought I'd dramatically overslept. How many of you can ever say that the moon woke you up? In hindsight, it is kinda a cool thing to say, or at least I think so.

Anyway, I'm off to chat with lawst in IM for a bit. Then on to cleaning house some more. I'll see if I can't have some more to post on later this week.

What a two weeks it was!

2008-01-06T02:55:31Z

Lawst came home for the holiday's! We had a blast and at the same time did a lot of what felt like nothing. In hindsight, we did a lot of catching up, and just being "with" one another, and the kids. I got the time off from work like so many in my industry do, only this year, it was a paid absence that didn't count against my earned time off!! My company totally rocks!

Sorry that we didn't get to hang out with many of our friends. We got out one night to be with friends at the Rampant Hedgehog Inn, but not much more than that.

Aside from the fun and festivities of the holiday's and with lawst being back in BR now, there's lots I need to do. We (the kiddo's and I) are taking a trip down there next week, to see the area, see lawst's new apt, and to just be with. I am also looking forward to meeting a few of her friends that I've heard so much about, but never met.

Nights like tonight though, make me real lonely for a change sooner, rather than later. The girl is spending the night at a friends house, the boy will go to bed in the next hour, and me without a sitter, or a date to come over. I need to get back in contact with some of my old friends yes, but I also need new ones, and new experiences. I'd really like someone to cuddle with over here, but right now it's hard to get something like that going.

That's about it for now. Maybe more later, we'll see.

Dear Tumtaguba/Santa/Holly King

2007-12-17T06:35:34Z

All I want for Xmas is:

1. World peace - I know that this is a large request, and that most cultures do not celebrate these types of celebrations during this time of the year, but if you could deliver it, I would never ask for another thing. :)

Short of that, I've got some less daunting requests

2. To be an increasingly healthier person over the next year - I'm not looking for stupendous here, just heathier. Spiritually, socially, physically, and pshycologically. I did say not stupendously, but marked improvement would be nice. :)

3. To continue to be the hero to my children that I currently am. - The girl gave me part of this today, we were xmas shopping for Mom, ad she saw a sign that she pointed to and said "How true, I need this sign." It said something like "I believe in hero's because my daddy is mine." I almost cried right there, some more of those gifts would be nice Tumtaguba *sp*.

4. A good price for the house when it sells - Not a fortune, just keep the market stable for a few more months please.

5. The strength to endure - Acting as a single dad has been trying, especially during this time of year. I think I've kept my head above water pretty well, help me continue to do so please.

6. A new comfy flannel shirt that neither of my girls will shrink or steal. :)

7.

lawst to continue to find her strength and path. - Please keep her safe and happy.

8. Reconnection with friends - This has already started, please show me how to keep it going.

9. A good time - This is both big and small, but generally, easy for me to see where the help is.

10. Less pain - This is a big one, and kinda goes with number 2 above. I know how i can get when in pain, and don't want to go back to that place.

11. A good holiday and rest of the year for my extended family and friends. - May they all find the things that they are looking for, and to receive the things that they are asking for over the next year!

And then there were 3

2007-12-17T06:10:48Z

Well, last night two more of the chickens were "taken" sometime in the middle of night. One of them was sick (we belive) and we actually thought we might have to put her down, this saved that hardship, however, one was the beloved CoCo. The girl was slightly upset, but not entirely. Kinda weird that she wasn't, but she has always appreciated the "circle of life", ever since petting the dead deer in the garage stating "Are we gonna eat it tonight?".

Did some more Xmas shopping this afternoon with the kids, had a bit of fun with it too. Looking for our favorite stores, as well as finding new ones. A somewhat sad event though too, the Old Mill antique mall and shops in Edmonds has been closed. I don't know for how long, but the entire building has been gutted and all that is left is the outer shell. Kinda sad when you've built up to go to a favorite store there. Still had fun with the trip, just not hitting the stores we planned on. Need to find them elsewhere this week. :)

Got some of the work done for getting the boy's room ready too. We are installing a closet organizer for him as well, just getting to the point with his closet where we can get it in is proving difficult. Having to weed through the toys, and pack up the things that aren't used, has been a bit more of a pain than I thought it would be.

Things are still going forward, looking forward to lawst coming home for the holidays. The kids are having fun, the boy with the wishes that Santa will get his message to get mommy home, the girl with being able to help that magic come alive. :) Gotta get the note from the Elf in Charge written for him too yet, but that shouldn't be too tough.

Only 6 days left, and I have HOW MUCH to do?!

2007-12-15T21:14:25Z

lawstwill be back at the end of the week, and I'm looking around the house thinking to myself, I have HOW MUCH to get done? Most of it is just getting the things in order, and cleaning up from a rather hectic week of activities. Some of it is the gifts that need to get wrapped or stowed in their secret locations. :) Mostly, it's just been a week, break neck pace, and lots to do while at the same time lots is getting done.

Work has been extremely hectic. We are getting ready for our first ever international deployment. This means retrofitting a bunch of games in the channel to accept internationalization wrappers, as well as international games, and testing them all. The management alone of the packages sent to the Test Department is a daunting task, and has proved troublesome. Thankfully, I have a good lead under me that has taken charge of some of the organization of it, and has put in place a pretty good plan for flying by the seat of our pants. It is still a management nightmare, but, it is at least manageable.

I've also come to the determination that I need a new counsellor. The one I've been seeing is great, but it is like talking to my own mother in a lot of ways. Whenever I try to turn the topic to talking through some of the sexual problems from my past, the subject gets changed, and altered to a different course. She is great for everything else, just not that. I need a counsellor, or counselling group that I can talk to, and that is "Alternative Lifestyles" friendly. Does anyone have any experience or knowledge of any in the east side, or heaven forbid, in the countryside area's (Closer to where I live)? Or even if there are any in the greater Seattle area? There's gotta be, but, I don't know where to begin to look.

Considering that I'm at work again, for the 3rd Saturday (sorta) in a row, I figure I better get back to it. Maybe more later.

Been a week, and it is kinda hard to know how things are going

2007-12-12T18:19:55Z

Mostly they are just going.

It feels like nothing is getting done. With the kids and I all being in various stages of sick, there hasn't been a lot that has gotten done. That, along with working 6 days a week, trying to commute through the weather and traffic accidents, etc, it almost feels like something is conspiring against me!

It hasn't appeared that anything is getting done around the house. I know that's not the case, but it hasn't felt like there is. I've gotten C's closet organization unit installed, her bed made, her old bed disassembled and out of her room along with a dresser. I've got plans to get the boy's closet done by or before the weekend if possible. My room has also changed as far as look goes, but there isn't actually much physically that I can do to change the layout or feel.

I have also felt like I've had no time to do the X-mas shopping that needs to get done. However, several of the things that I've gotten have come in (ordered online and whatnot). I still need to get out and get loads more done, but, haven't had the time or energy to. On top of it, I need to get cookies made, something that I always do, just hasn't been the time or energy when the time is there.

lawst is doing good too. She and I have been talking most days, whether over IM or phone. Things feel like they are going OK between us, but truth be told, we haven't talked about "Us" much at all. Other than missing and loving each other. Not that we need to talk about us either, just that we haven't. I know that she is having a good time though. I also know that she is really looking forward to her trip home for the holiday's.

A while ago (maybe a month) a friend of mine invited me to see her facebook. I joined and took a look around, kinda cumbersome I thought. Then, yesterday, a friend of mine from WAY back contacted me through that profile. Someone I knew from the MN Army Nat'l Guard. Felt good to be making a reconnection with someone from those days, kinda got me out of the doldrums I was in after working so much on C's room last night, and was more stimulating that gaming for a change.

That's about it for now. Gotta get to the reasons I'm being paid for being here, instead of my own reasons.

It started as crap, but now the week ends OK

2007-12-08T05:11:27Z

It was a crappy start to the week. Feeling anxious about Lawst and her travels, feeling sick, knowing that the boy child was sick, swamped and overwhelmed at work, truck breaking down, etc.

The boy child gave me his cold. I had to go and pick him up from school during the flooding on Monday, but it was because he was sick. It took me 2 hours(ish) to get back to work, and most of that was spent in a 2 mile stretch of road. But that is all in a different post.

Tuesday, I took him to work with me. He was too sick to go to school, poor guy woke up with his eyes crusted shut. :( The cool thing about the company I work at is that when I stated what my "situation" had become, they were very thoughtful about it. When I asked for a low end PC to set up a desk for my kids in my office, they had it to me in two days. Well before the time I needed it. So he has a comfy chair, and a PC to play games on, as well as white boards for drawing and gets to spend time with dad. He could even nap in there if the mood struck him right.

Tuesday afternoon we had an appt to get to the Dr.'s office to check his eyes and ears, make sure that it wasn't more than the common cold. Turns out a bit of conjunctivits in the eyes, but nothing major. Small 'scrip for eye drops and no biggie. The adventure was in getting to the Dr office though. The alternator died right as I was leaving work to get him to the Dr.'s office. Thankfully Schucks lent me a crescent wrench and allowed me to perform the swap in their parking lot. Still, not my idea of fun, but a quick time of 50 minutes later and I was back on the road.

By tuesday night, i felt like crap. I could tell I was getting his cold, fever, sweats, cough, sniffles, etc. Wednesday, we both stayed home. Snuggled on the couch, watched a movie or two, drank juice, read stories, and just rested. Thursday, I knew I had to get back to work, but he was going to be too much to handle while being sick. I dropped him with a friend of ours and got to work.

From that point on, the week started to go upward. The boy and I enjoyed our Wednesday, and all things considered, even for being sick, that was a good day too. But it really moved upward once I got back to work. I got a new employee, started testing in earnest for our loc deployment, and we got a lot accomplished.

Lawst and I seem to be doing a bit better in communication too. I think some of that is that she is starting to relax a bit, and get into the job and settle after driving. I know that she is meeting new faces and attitudes, stuff that she wanted to experience here and was unable to. Mostly because of the people here. They don't call it west coast hospitality, it is called "Southern Hospitality" for a reason. I miss her so, but am happy that she is started to get oriented. We will be all as a family soon enough again, and she could use this time away from us, to catch back up with herself.